Do you feel socially uncomfortable?

Social anxiety, similar to other forms of anxiety, arises from our instinctual fight or flight response. This response is triggered by the release of hormones that compel us to either confront the situation or escape from it. Sometimes, we may even feel paralysed and unable to take any action. Social anxiety occurs when we perceive a threat in social interactions, such as the fear of being judged or embarrassed, even if these concerns are not likely to happen.

The symptoms of social anxiety include constant worry about conversations, meetings, and interactions before, during, and after they occur. It goes beyond shyness and can be incredibly overwhelming. It can impact our relationships at work or in education and hinder our ability to engage in everyday activities, like shopping. Additionally, it can manifest in physical symptoms such as nausea, sweating, a rapid heartbeat, or panic attacks.

Overcoming social anxiety involves seeking help from a therapist who can provide guidance and support. There are also techniques you can learn and practice on your own. One helpful approach recommended by experts is setting small and achievable goals for socialising. For example, if you feel anxious about attending an event, you can start by setting the goal of participating for just 20 minutes. Gradually, you can increase the duration over time.

Other techniques that may be beneficial include practising breathing exercises, preparing a few conversation starters in advance, or having a trusted person to accompany and support you during anxiety-inducing situations.

Although some individuals may attempt to avoid social situations, it is important to understand the underlying reasons behind these feelings in order to overcome them in the long run.

Social anxiety makes us fear that something embarrassing or flawed about us will become obvious to everyone. And while social anxiety is all about fearing judgement from others, it actually makes us very *self-focused*

You might be so focused on your appearance, performance and emotions that you actually come away from social situations with very little information about how the situation truly went.

In other words, you look *inside* to see how things *outside* are going. The problem with this is that you're using your discomfort to determine how you're coming off to others....

You feel stupid, so you think you must be talking nonsense

& You feel embarrassed, so you think everyone is secretly laughing at you

Your emotions aren't always a reliable judge!

So, what can you do instead? The key is to try and turn your attention *outward* on what's currently happening around you. The trick is to attend closely to what other people are saying, and to stay focused on what's happening in the here and now.

You might find that when you prioritise being attentive, observant and responsive to others, you will:

• Be more able to focus on the task at hand, rather than your anxiety.

• Come away with a much more balanced view of how the situation went.

If you suffer with social anxiety, what coping techniques work for you?